


Therapy but Fun and Free

by RatKiing



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, It's a chatfic pretty self explanatory, M/M, Texting, chatfic, i have no idea what else to say, tags will be added as it goes on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:54:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26242978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RatKiing/pseuds/RatKiing
Summary: They have a Discord group chat. As things always go with this stuff, it's absolute chaos. Send help.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 57
Kudos: 197





	1. Halloween and Socially Acceptable Crime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways, quick thing  
> There's probably gonna be a lot of swearing?? I do that a lot, it's a habit sorry HSDHSHDFhfdjs

** therapy but fun and free **

**skate fast eat ass (killu#0099), certified dirt eater (gon!#0405), no❤️ (kurapika#0404), a good simp (leoreos#0403)**

**a good simp** _Today at 5:47 AM_

everybody screeeeaaam everybody scream it IS halloween (n e ways cancel brendon urie and stan ryan ross a ha ha)

**no❤️** _Today at 5:49 AM_

It's september (also yeah please do those things)

**a good simp** _Today at 5:49 AM_

no, its halloween

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 5:50 AM_

september and october? sorry i only know halloween

it lasts about two months

**a good simp** _Today at 5:51 AM_

it has been decided that halloween season officially begins on september 1 and lasts until 11:59 pm, october 31. there is far too much to see, do, taste, touch, listen to, scare, hide and/or run from to contain within the 31 available days in october.

thank you for your cooperation

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 5:52 AM_

who said ill be running or hiding from anything

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 5:52 AM_

no one did, please calm down

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 5:53 AM_

i cannot be calmed

i am an unstoppable force

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 5:53 AM_

i'll hang out with you after school and buy you like two snacks

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 5:54 AM_

i have been calmed and stopped

and make it three

**no❤️** _Today at 5:56 AM_

Alright then, it's good to be informed that the next two months don't exist anymore

Time is a social construct and I'm glad it's been confirmed

**a good simp** _Today at 5:57 AM_

kurapika please no i didnt need a whole ass crisis for breakfast today

i have long ass lectures to pay attention to

**no❤️** _Today at 5:57 AM_

Forget school, live out a life of crime

**a good simp** _Today at 5:58 AM_

do not live a life of crime

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 5:58 AM_

you make a convincing argument, sir

just might commit all the crimes known to man

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 5:59 AM_

all the crimes? really?

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 6:00 AM_

well

no

only the fun crimes

like arson and stuff

**a good simp** _Today at 6:01 AM_

gon please

at least commit arson in like your backyard

socially acceptable crimes

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 6:02 AM_

socialy acceptabjenjfskne criemsemek

**no❤️** _Today at 6:02 AM_

I'll make sure he doesn't get caught if he does anything more than that

Promise

**a good simp** _Today at 6:02 AM_

yknow what

fine alright sounds good

idc n e more

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 6:03 AM_

family bonding!!

we all commit arson together

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 6:04 AM_

ahhdsjskc

sounds fun, i'm down

**a good simp** _Today at 6:04 AM_

goodness

cant believe im gonna have arson on the records of crimes ive committed once i become a doctor

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 6:04 AM_

rip leorio

**no❤️** _Today at 6:07 AM_

RIP to leorio, but I'm different

**a good simp** _Today at 6:08 AM_

wow okay

i see how it is

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 6:08 AM_

haha

**a good simp** _Today at 6:08 AM_

i gotta get to class anyways

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 6:08 AM_

ew i forgot your classes are pretty damn early

**a good simp** _Today at 6:09 AM_

why are you guys up?? doesnt school start at 8:00 for you

oh haha zero in between the funny number rip

but yeah answer the question

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 6:09 AM_

zero inbetween funny number hehe

but uh we were bored

**no❤️** _Today at 6:10 AM_

And you were both awake?

**a good simp** _Today at 6:10 AM_

rip zero between funny number

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 6:10 AM_

rip 6:09 am

but yeah, we both woke up at pretty much the same time i think

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 6:10 AM_

yeah i woke up randomly and then texted killu

he just so happened to be awake!

**a good simp** _Today at 6:11 AM_

damn okay

**no❤️** _Today at 6:12 AM_

Telepathic connection

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 6:12 AM_

just two bros with a telepathic connection

nuthin to see here

**a good simp** _Today at 6:12 AM_

iunno seems kinda sus to me

but i'll let it slide for 2nite

2day

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 6:12 AM_

fortnite,,

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 6:13 AM_

nitefort

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 6:13 AM_

djjnjnHHHFHBShjdnsf

**a good simp** _Today at 6:14 AM_

right okay

n e ways i gotta get to class

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 6:15 AM_

bye leorio!!

good luck

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 6:15 AM_

do your best

study hard

finish your work

take notes

get good grades

dont do drugs

stay in school

**a good simp** _Today at 6:15 AM_

as if you do all of those

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 6:15 AM_

damn okay

no need to call me out

this is bullying

OK BUT

the most important thing of all??

skate fast eat ass smoke grass

**a good simp** _Today at 6:16 AM_

right yes sir

thank you for the wonderful advice

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 6:17 AM_

of course

see ya

**a good simp** _Today at 6:18 AM_

bye

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 6:25 AM_

smoke grass? no

eat grass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N e ways, follow me on twitter @ piumboys


	2. Kurapika Pictures?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holon holon, what's going on here?

** therapy but fun and free **

**no❤️** _Today at 7:28 AM_

Should I wear lipstick a bit more often? Which looks better

*Kurapika_in_Black_Lipstick.png*

*Kurapika_in_Red_Lipstick.png*

**skate fast eat ass** Today at 7:28 AM

what

**no❤️** _Today at 7:29 AM_

Oh, didn't mean to send it here

Don't gotta send it to who I was originally going to now, though

So, just answer the questions

**a good simp** _Today at 7:29 AM_

woah calm down 'pika it's no simp semptember youre gonna make it difficult

**no❤️** _Today at 7:29 AM_

You failed it by existing

Now answer the question

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:30 AM_

who were you sending these to

why are you wearing lipstick

**no❤️** _Today at 7:30 AM_

Isn't of any importance, answer the questions

Also, it makes me feel powerful

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:30_

isn't of any importance my ass

these are practically nudes

(also, thats fair)

**a good simp** _Today at 7:30 AM_

HUAHHDHHDBJAKLASKLALKD

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:30 AM_

you send pictures of yourself to very few people

you barely send any to us

**a good simp** _Today at 7:31 AM_

he's got you there

so who were you sending those to?

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:31_

can't believe kurapika is having an affair

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:31 AM_

OH MY GOD

PA NO

WHY ARE YOU COMMITTING ADULTERY

😭😭😭😭😭

did i use adultery right

**no❤️** _Today at 7:32 AM_

Yes, you did, Gon

**a good simp** _Today at 7:32 AM_

good job!

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:32 AM_

YAY

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:33 AM_

anyways

**no❤️** _Today at 7:33 AM_

Just answer my original questions

Or else I won't text in this chat 

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:33 AM_

OH NO okok uhhh

black cus it matches your clothes cus you wear black a lot

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:44 AM_

lmao goth pika but uh

yeah ig black iunno

**a good simp** _Today at 7:55 AM_

i mean i would say red

your skin is pretty pale so black makes you look kinda paler

the red really pops out, it's nice and pretty

i think, at least

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:55 AM_

ha good save

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:55 AM_

:)

**no❤️** _Today at 7:56 AM_

Right, okay

Thank you

<3

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:56 AM_

:0 !!

<3 <3

**a good simp** _Today at 7:56 AM_

A ha ha ofc

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:57 AM_

sure

**no❤️** _Today at 7:58 AM_

Well, I've gotta go

Pay attention in school, all of you

**a good simp** _Today at 7:59 AM_

dont force yourself, tho

**no❤️** _Today at 7:59 AM_

I said all of you

**a good simp** _Today at 7:59 AM_

oh rip

heart been broke so many times i i

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:59 AM_

haha

**no❤️** _Today at 8:00 AM_

Bye

Good luck on your quizzes today, Gon and Killua

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:01 AM_

WOAH

how did he know

**a good simp** _Today at 8:01 AM_

im pretty sure you told him last week

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:02 AM_

yeah you were complaining about it a lot

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:02 AM_

oh

right

**a good simp** _Today at 8:03 AM_

well, you two should be getting to class in a bit

good luck

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:04 AM_

thank you!!

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:04 AM_

aren't you in a class rn or something??

**a good simp** _Today at 8:05 AM_

i sit in the back

aight, bye

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:06 AM_

right

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:06 AM_

bye bye!!

* * *

**leoreos** aka _a good simp_

**leoreos** _Today at 8:37 AM_

were you gonna sent the pictures to me??

or am i just overthinking

or something

**Kurapika** _Today at 8:39 AM_

If I was, it doesnt matter now

Im gonna wear the red lipstick anyways

**leoreos** _Today at 8:40 AM_

didnt both gon and kulla ssay the black lipstick though

it was 2 against 1

**leoreos** _Today at 8:45 AM_

i hope you have a good day pika

send a pretty picture or two!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn a lil bit of drama in the second chapter? These gays cannot calm down can they  
> A ha ha maybe follow my twitter @.piumboys


	3. Hold Your Horses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sentences should just be straightforward

**therapy but fun and free**

**no❤️** _Today at 1:44 PM_

I was fucking today years old when I realized that when someone says, "hold your horses" they're telling you to be stable.

I'm so pissed off that I didn't know this and I don't know why

**a good simp** _Today at 1:45 PM_

wait

hold on hold on gimme a moment

i

i need to process this

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 1:46 PM_

WAIT WHAT

REALLY??

oh my god that makes sense

CUS HORSES ARE IN STABLES

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 1:46 PM_

huh wow

i can see why you're angry about that

i didn't even know that it meant something else

**no❤️** _Today at 1:48 PM_

Yeah, exactly

In all my 21 years of age

Not once was I told by anyone that that's what it meant

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 1:48 PM_

honestly you'd think a teacher would use that as an example of a metaphor or whatever it is

is it a metaphor?

or is it smthn else

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 1:48 PM_

that seems so obvius

i feel kinda stupid

**no❤️** _Today at 1:48 PM_

Exactly

Imagine how I feel, gon

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 1:50 PM_

the same?

**no❤️** _Today at 1:50 AM_

watch yourself

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 1:50 PM_

yes sir

please don't hrt me

**a good simp** _Today at 1:52 PM_

don't murder the children

they're the future

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 1:52 PM_

not a very reliable future

*looks at my name*

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 1:53 PM_

yeah what is a skater boy gonna provide for the world

kick flips?

**a good simp** _Today at 1:53 PM_

epicness

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 1:53 PM_

oaky that's fair

the world needs that

sadly i'm the one who had to provide it

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 1:53 PM_

i think youre the perfect person to provide it

youre the most epic person i know killu!!

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 1:54 PM_

oh uhfshfd gross thanks ew

**a good simp** _Today at 1:54 PM_

pure

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 1:55 PM_

shut your up

**no❤️** _Today at 1:56 PM_

It's an idiom

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 1:56 PM_

what is

**no❤️** _Today at 1:56 PM_

Hold your horses

It's an idiom

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 1:57 PM_

oh okay cool

i knew metaphor didn't feel right

but i didn't know what it actually was

**no❤️** _Today at 1:58 PM_

Yeah, it was a while since I had last learned what an idiom even was

**a good simp** _Today at 1:59 PM_

speaking of learning

gon, killua

why are you on your phones

**certified** **dirt eater** _Today at 1:59 PM_

oh yeah uh

**a good simp** _Today at 1:59 PM_

*i hold youa t gun point*

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 2:00 PM_

oh being held at gun point by dad

aight then

well, i'm the rich kid so like

most teachers don't care or do anything

i like to think they're somewhat scared of just me

**no❤️** _Today at 2:01 PM_

Probably not

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 2:01 PM_

hey

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 2:02 PM_

i think this teacher is genuinely kinda scared of me or something

**a good simp** _Today at 2:02 PM_

what?

why

most of the staff either hate or love you

rarely anywhere in between

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 2:03 PM_

exblain

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 2:04 PM_

alright well

im pretty sure he saw me kinda fall out the window this one time

**no❤️** _Today at 2:04 PM_

Wow okay

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 2:04 PM_

his class is on second floor

and im pretty sure everyone panicked and ran to the windows

but when they looked out i got up and was like

'im fine! dont worry'

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 2:05 PM_

christ

bones of steel

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 2:05 PM_

and i was okay!

i didnt get hurt at all

and so i think thats why hes scared of me

cus i fell out of a window and didnt have any harm done t me

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 2:06 PM_

well now i know who my go-to human shield is

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 2:06 PM_

you dont need to use me as a shield

ill fight whatever or whoever tries to hurt you!

dropkcik em into the sun

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 2:07 PM_

hjasfjsjahsdsjigijd

ok cool

**no❤️** _Today at 2:07 PM_

Gon is invincible

Good to know

**a good simp** _Today at 2:07 PM_

i mean, you can survive jumping out of a second floor window multiple times

you can get out with no or minimal injuries

as long as you land correctly and stuff

if you land wrong once, you can break your leg

**no❤️** _Today at 2:08 PM_

Well

I know what my weekend plans are

**a good simp** _Today at 2:08 PM_

kurapika pleas no

if any of you do that im not helping you

youre going to the doctors by yourseld

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 2:09 PM_

aw man

**no❤️** _Today at 2:09 PM_

Damn alright then

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 2:09 PM_

don't you have enough money to pay for a bill at the hospital though?

**no❤️** _Today at 2:10 PM_

I do, but it wouldn't be as fun

**certified dirt eat** **er** _Today at 2:11 PM_

wait

so you would want leorio to be the one to help

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 2:11 PM_

do you want him to nurse you back to health

**a good simp** _Today at 2:12 PM_

oh to wrap bandages around and put disinfectant on another man's wounds as i catch his tender gaze and lovingly call him an idiot

**no❤️** _Today at 2:12 PM_

I feel like the two of you are reading too much into it

I just don't trust any random doctor to help

**skate fast eat ass** _Today 2:12 PM_

wh

okay fair but

are we just gonna ignore what leorio said

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 2:13 PM_

i dunno

sounds kinda gay to me

but anyways

thats fair!

doctors are kinda scary

i would also only trust leorio

**a good simp** _Today at 2:13 PM_

PFFF hfhdsjdfjfsj

thanks

let's hope i can become an official doctor as soon as possible

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 2:13 PM_

okay so we are

good to know

**no❤️** _Today at 2:14 PM_

Glad we're all on the same page, then

well, I should be off

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 2:15 PM_

awwww

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 2:15 PM_

damn alright

quick question though

**no❤️** _Today at 2:16 PM_

Ask away

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 2:16 PM_

did you wear lipstick today?

and what color

**no❤️** _Today at 2:17 PM_

I currently am, yes

Red

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 2:17 PM_

ooh nice!

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 2:17 PM_

alright then

well, see ya kurapika

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 2:17 PM_

bye pika!!

**a good simp** _Today at 2:18 PM_

good bye! stay safe

also, pika, answer the phone today

**no❤️** _Today at 2:20 PM_

no💞

**a good simp** _Today at 2:20 PM_

ignoring that and choosing only to see the hearts

no❤️ _Today at 2:21 PM_

Bye

* * *

**Kurapika** aka _no❤️_

**Kurapika** _Today at 2:30 PM_

You get the third one as a treat

*Krpk-in-lpstck-previous-day.png*

*Krpk_in_lpstck_.png*

*Krpk_in_lpstck-but-smilin.png*

**Leoreos** _Today at 2:37 PM_

OH

OKAY

HADJJFDBJDMNFKJSKDJNF

YOU LOOK GREAT

UHHH

thanks

**Kurapika** _Today at 2:41 PM_

Mhm

**Leoreos** _Today at 2:44 PM_

will you answer the phone today?

**Kurapika** _Today at 2:45 PM_

No, I won't be able to

Sorry, Leorio

**Leoreos** _Today at 2:45 PM_

its alright pika

when'll you be back?

**Kurapika** _Today at 2:46 PM_

I'm not sure

Hopefully soon

**Leoreos** _Today at 2:46 PM_

yeah, hope so too

see ya

**Kurapika** _Today at 2:47 PM_

Yeah

See you then

Thank you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah follow my twitter or smthn @.piumboys


	4. Onceler & Leorio v. Kurapika

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I mean,, the chapter title's got it down pretty well. Ion know what else to say.

**therapy but fun and free**

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 12:19 PM_

wtf

BRAIM

BRAIN IS

B RAIN

AND B SOUNDS LIKE P SO

PEE BRAIN = BRAIN??????

xonsiparicy rherosy

**a good simp** _Today at 8:37_

was Gon okay yesterday?

did he just like wake up, do that, and go back to sleep

**no❤️** _Today at 8:39 PM_

I'm pretty sure he did

Not sure about him being okay

Relatable

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:39_

he has been

entirely out of it today

half of what he says doesn't make sense or is barely consistent

he's barely been able to get any of his work done

**no❤️** _Today at 8:39 PM_

@ _certified dirt eater_

**a good simp** _Today at 8:40 PM_

gon, bud, are you okay?

do you need to be held

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:40 PM_

leorio is th elorax

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:40 PM_

SHKDJDHJDSJDK WHAT

**a good simp** _Today at 8:40 PM_

how am i the lorax?

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:40 PM_

you both havte he name

start with L

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:41 PM_

gon are you okau

**no❤️** _Today at 8:42 PM_

If anything leorio would be the onceler

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:42 PM_

is it because the onceler is a tumblr sexyman

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:43 PM_

kurapika onceler simp?????

**no❤️** _Today at 8:44 PM_

i

I,, can indeed confirm that I probably was

**a good simp** _Today at 8:44 PM_

you would've been like 13, right?

**no❤️** Today at 8:44 PM

Yeah

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:44 PM_

rip

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:45 PM_

you were a onceler simp and an emo kid? pick a struggle

**no❤️** _Today at 8:46 PM_

I chose to be only sad and angry, Killua

I already picked my strugle

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:46 PM_

oh uh rip x2

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:46 PM_

oh damn youre right

**a good simp** _Today at 8:47 PM_

guys please

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:47 PM_

:O

**a good simp** _Today at 8:47 PM_

what

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:47 PM_

kurapika,,

you have a fucking type

sort of ish

not like a very specific one in personality at all

but kinda a type

yknow what im getting at tho, right?

**no❤️** _Today at 8:48 PM_

Oh my fucking god

Killua, please

shut your up

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:49 PM_

WAIT

HES RIGHT

KILLUA UR BRAIN IS SO SO HUGE

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:49 PM_

A ha ha

Tyty gon shhhh shhh that's enough

But don't say anything

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:50 PM_

of course got it

yes sir

**a good simp** _Today at 8:51 PM_

hey

hwy do i get left in the dark?

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:51 PM_

cus youre old

**a good simp** _Today at 8:51 PM_

and youre a toddler, i dont see the big difference

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:51 PM_

i'll eat your doggamn ankles

goddamn*

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:52 PM_

doggamn haha

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:52 PM_

you're on thin ice gon

**no❤️** _Today at 8:52 PM_

the secret is that i'm having an affair with the onceler

**a good simp** _Today at 8:53 PM_

:0

NO

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:54 PM_

NOOOOOOO

Pa no please

anyone but him

😿😿😭😿😭😿

**no❤️** _Today at 8:55 PM_

Sorry, gon

He's just too hard to resist

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:56 PM_

i am going to eat all the spoons and forks you ahve so you can only use sporks

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:56 PM_

sporks are the only valid silverware

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:56 PM_

spork stans rise up

**a good simp** _Today at 8:57 PM_

i can't handle this

**no❤️** _Today at 8:58 PM_

Leorio

**a good simp** _Today at 8:58 PM_

hm?

**no❤️** _Today at 8:58 PM_

You suck

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:59 PM_

GASP

**a good simp** _Today at 8:59 PM_

WHAT

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:59 PM_

:O

**no❤️** Today at 9:00 PM

I said what I said

**a good simp** Today at 9:00 PM

SMH

just go back to simping

**no❤️** _Today at 9:00 PM_

I will NOT hesitate to beat your ass

Meet me at the Mcdonald's parking lot at 10:45 PM

**a good simp** _Today at 9:01 PM_

mcdonald's? yuck

i only fight at dennys parking lots

**no❤️** _Today at 9:01 PM_

Bitch you probably only have two dollars i doubt you could fight at denny's

**a good simp** _Today at 9:02 PM_

bro i have a whole collee fund to waste we're fighting at denny's or we;re not fighting at all

i only fight at a classy establishment thanks

**no❤️** _Today at 9:03 PM_

Y'know what

fine denny's it is

If i win you're getting me pancakes

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 9:03 PM_

guys no dont fight at denny's

thats where my illegal hand holding business is!!

**no❤️** _Today at 9:03 PM_

It's either fighting at denny's or no fighting at all

and i WILL fight leorio

Sorry, gon

ily tho

**a good simp** _Today at 9:04 PM_

ill buy you pancakes if you win but if i win? you gotta let me hug you and/or buy me french toast

havent had a hug in a while

not homo i swear

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 9:04 PM_

iunno about that

**no❤️** _Today at 9:04 PM_

ugh fine i guess its pretty fair

Better get ready to have your ass handed to you <3

If you win i'll do both because it'd be surprising if I lost

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 9:05 PM_

ah yes, good excuse

fighting at mcdonalds? lame

but fighting at denny's? not lame at all, actually really classy

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 9:06 PM_

whats it like fighting at ihop? or burger king?

**a good simp** _Today at 9:07 PM_

bruh get ready to get eliminated like the rest of your family

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 9:07 PM_

OH

**no❤️** Today at 9:07 PM

okay thats it im gonna rip you apart not going easy anymore

**skate fast eat ass** Today at 9:07 PM

gonna miss leorio ngl

**a good simp** _Today at 9:08 PM_

okay lil fella take it easy, no need to bust a fuse over it

**no❤️** _Today at 9:09 PM_

was about to say that you're the lil' fella here, but that would be very untrue

but I will not calm down you cant control me

I am a force to be reckoned with

**a good simp** _Today at 9:10 PM_

fighting at ihop is kinda :/ I feel like because I dunno I get safer vibes from ihop

I feel like they’d either call the police immediately or not care at all depending on who’s working @ the time . 7/10

fighting at Burger King ,, well we do be fighting for the crown a ha ha

they don’t really care and they might even give you free fries if the fight is entertaining. 9/10 .

**no❤️** _Today at 9:10 PM_

Okay, good to know thanks

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 9:11 PM_

oh alrigt!!

**a good simp** _Today at 9:11 PM_

force to be reckoned with? uhm anyways pipsqueak,,

**no❤️** _Today at 9:11 PM_

I take back that thanks, I will now eat your ankles

**a good simp** _Today at 9:12 PM_

hsdhjdf my ankles prolly arent even that tasty ngl,, im just bones .

skinny.

**no❤️** _Today at 9:12 PM_

Gonna be chewing on your bones then

**a good simp** _Today at 9:12 PM_

sounds mighty,, doggish

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 9:13 PM_

GRRR bark bark

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 9:13 PM_

HUAHSHAHD

**no❤️** _Today at 9:13 PM_

hhhh,, arf arf,,

**a good simp** _Today at 9:15 PM_

IFJSDJAjdajksdd

pika is like a feral man child who every so often is a bit sweet but mostly just wild and prolly likes bushes

**no❤️** _Today at 9:16 PM_

I live in a bush and have rabies

**a good simp** _Today at 9:16 PM_

understandable, have a good day in your bush home with your rabies

**no❤️** _Today at 9:17 PM_

Thank you

Someone dropped a bag of chips in here ealier, so I'm doing swell

**a good simp** _Today at 9:17 PM_

thats wonderful!

ill be manifesting more chips in your bush ✨

**no❤️** _Today at 9:17 PM_

thank you <3

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at_ _9:19 PM_

the way you guys just did a whole 180 degree i-

**certified dirt eater** _Today at_ _9:20 PM_

whoo thank goodness, my hand holding business is safe

* * *

**gon!** aka _certified dirt eater_

**killu** _Today at 9:34 PM_

hey, gon

what was up with you today?

**gon!** _Today at 3:34 PM_

killua!!

nothing really

just a bit tired yknow?

**killu** _Today at 9:35 PM_

oh okay

did you not sleep or??

**gon!** _Today at 9:35 PM_

not really i guess

**killu** _Today at 9:35 PM_

gon pls that's so vague

**gon!** _Today at 9:35 PM_

i just mean like

i kept waking upa bunch!

like i was incredibly tired when i got home yesterday

but i couldnt sleep that well

and then i was even more tired today

and i didnt feel like doing anything

still dont kinda,,

**killu** _Today at 9:36 PM_

thats weird

we should ask leorio or smthn

wanna hang out at your place tmorrow?

**gon!** _Today at 9:37 PM_

prolly

and yeah ofc!!

you think you can stay the weekend

**killu** _Today at 9:37 PM_

hell yeah dude

and then i can just go to school with you on tuesday

since there's no school monday

**gon!** _Today at 9:38 PM_

oh yeah there isn't

so its gonna be like usual

**killu** _Today at 9:38 PM_

dfjfsjfdj yeah

like usual

**gon!** _Today at 9:47 PM_

hey killu

wanna call until like

4 am

**killu** _Today at 9:49 PM_

shouldnt you

idk

try and sleep?

**gon!** _Today at 9:49 PM_

o yeah

i guess so

**killu** _Today at 9:50 PM_

nah nvm

lets call

hurry up before i change my mind

**gon!** _Today at 9:51 PM_

you wouldnt

but alright!

**killu** _Today at 9:51 PM_

ughghgh whateverrr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A ha ha didn't that kurapika and leorio thing seem kinda familiar Lise  
> Also, follow my twitter blah blah @.piumboys


	5. Doctoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleeby sleeby

**therapy but fun and free**

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:36 AM_

leorio youe a doctoe right?

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 11:37 AM_

doctoe

**no❤️** _Today at 11:37 AM_

toe

**a good simp** _Today at 11:37 AM_

sadly i am not a doctoe, no

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:38 AM_

HAHdhasfksjhsadkhsaf STOOOOOOp

**a good simp** _Today at 11:38 AM_

WAIT

holon holon

**doctoe** _Today at 11:39 AM_

okay continue

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:39 AM_

HYJHSHDHJFSHd

why areyou guys bullying meee

okay but you are rigt

**doctoe** _Today at 11:39 AM_

not yet, no

ask away, though

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:39 AM_

okok so like

ive been really tired lately

thats why i was all shdhhahdgj the other day

i kept waking up a bunch and didnt get a lot of sleeep

n then i was just reeeaaally sluggish the entire day

i think thats the word

i slept a lot better toda though

only just woke up a lil bit ago

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 11:41 AM_

can confirm

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:41 AM_

but ive been jst reall not energetic and very bored

like i dont wanna do anything other than lay in around and keep taking naps

even though killu's been over all weekend

i cant think of anything to do and i dont even wanna do anything anyways

fun or nto

i just wnna keep sleeping or eat or like i said before just lay there

also

yesterday sometimes thiggs felt way too loud or way too much

even if it was just,, tiny noises or a certain texture of something

i just felt really bothereed and hhhhh

i dunno its all really weird

**doctoe** _Today at 11:43 AM_

ohh okay

well, the thing yesterday was probably sensory overload

and we've been suspecting that you have adhd, right

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:44 AM_

mhm

**doctoe** _Today at 11:44 AM_

yeah well, the lethargy and sensory overload could be bc of that

sometimes your body will just be like 'nah not anymore' after a while of being yknow

how you usually are

**no❤️** _Today at 11:45 AM_

Wild

**doctoe** _Today at 11:45 AM_

yeah wild

it'll pass eventually, but maybe we should at least get you confirmed for adhd

don't want them giving you any meds, though

just so you have something so that your teachers don't try and blame you for anything

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 11:45 AM_

if they do i'll stab em

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:46 AM_

no dont stab em!!

and i dont wanna worry mito or anything

she doesnt need to spend more money on me

**doctoe** _Today at 11:46 AM_

she wont have to

i can take you, she won't have to worry

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:46 AM_

NOOO  
LEORIO YOURE BROKE  
I CANT LET YOU DO THAT

**doctoe** _Today at 11:46 AM_

shut up,i'm not broke

**no❤️** _Today at 11:47 AM_

you're kinda broke

**doctoe** _Today at 11:47 AM_

yeah

okay yeah, maybe i'm a little bit broke

but i still wanna take my son and then yell at the doctor if they try to give unnecessary stuff

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:48 AM_

my doctor is nice i dont think she would

**doctoe** _Today at 11:48 AM_

true, she is pretty nice

so i don't think she would, but just in case

**no❤️** _Today at 11:50 AM_

when would you guys go?

**doctoe** _Today at 11:51 AM_

mmmm

probably this friday or smthn

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:51 AM_

ill tell mito later

**skate fast eat ass** _Today att 11:51 AM_

i'll make sure he tells mito later

**doctoe** _Today at 11:51 AM_

ok good

**no❤️** _Today att 11:52 AM_

Ah, alright

what're you guys doing now, gon?

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:52 AM_

me n killu are kinda just laying here

he didnt wanna lay outside

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 11:52 AM_

WAYYY too frickin hot out there

don't understand how or why you wanted to go outside

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:53 AM_

youre the one whos wearing a turtleneck!!

if anything its your fault

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 11:53 AM_

its supposed to be _fall_

not burning hot

the weather is stupid

**doctoe** _Today at 11:53 AM_

aren't you guys in the same room

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:54_

if he yells at me to my face i wont let him lay on me anymore

**no❤️** _Today at 11:54 AM_

Oh?

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 11:54 AM_

UIHHHEHJJRHJFSUFIKOA SHUT UP

GON JUST LIKES HAVING THE WEIGHT OVER HIM N THE CONTACT OR WHATVER

IM JUST LAYING WITH MY LIKE HEAD N SHOULDERS ON HIS TORSO

**no❤️** _Today at 11:55 AM_

I don't think youre helping your case

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:55 AM_

ive said this a million times before and ill say it a million times again

but killus hair is REALLY REALLY soft

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 11:56 AM_

GONANDHBDHDHDSJD

YOURW GONNA RUIN MY REPUTATION

**doctoe** _Today at 11:57 AM_

it;s okay, we've been knew that you're actually a big softie

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:57 AM_

exactly!!

your reputation hasnt existed for a long time when youre with us

**no❤️** _Today at 11:57 AM_

Others might fear you because of your scary ass rich family

But we know that you're babey

_Especially with gon_

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 11:59 AM_

HGGRGRHR R HHSHHFJS I HATE YOU GUYSSSS

FUCK YOU

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:59 AM_

L word you too, killu!!

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 11:59 AM_

ew jdfjfdsjkfdjjdf

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 11:59 AM_

ANYWAYS

nap time

**doctoe** _Today at 12:00 PM_

didn't you barely wake up?

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 12:00 PM_

nap time

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:00 PM_

yes please nap time

**no❤️** _Today at 12:01 PM_

Have a good nap, you two

**doctoe** _Today at 12:01 PM_

fair

set am alarm for like thirty minutes later

so you dont sleep the day away

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:01 PM_

kay

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 12:02 PM_

thank youuuu

nighty night!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brrrr follow my TWITTER @.piumboys  
> Mostly wrote this because I've also been feeling lethargic :sparkle:


	6. :pleading:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *uncontrollable sobbing* KuRAApIkkAAAaaAaAa 🥺🥺

** therapy but fun and free **

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:07 AM_

KURAPIKAAAAAA

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:07 AM_

KURAPIKA

**doctoe** _Today at 7:07 AM_

KURAAAPIKAAA

PIKA

PIKAAAAA

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:07 AM_

KURAPIKA KURAPIKA KURAPIKA KURAPIKA

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:07 AM_

KURAPIKA PLEASE

PA

_@no❤️_

**doctoe** _Today at 7:07 AM_

_@no❤️_

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:07 AM_

_@no❤️_

**doctoe** _Today at 7:08 AM_

_@no❤️_

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:08 AM_

_@no❤️_

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:08 AM_

_@no❤️_

**no❤️** _Today at 7:08 AM_

Holy shit you guys, you never try this hard to get me on

What?

**doctoe** _Today at 7:09 AM_

THANK YOUUU

THANK YO U SM

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:09 AM_

YOU ARE

LITERALLY AMAZING

THANKIESSSSSS

**doctoe** _Today at 7:09 AM_

ILY ILY ILY ILY

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:09 AM_

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAA

YOURE LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DAAAD

**doctoe** _Today at 7:09 AM_

hey

wow okay

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:10 AM_

WAIT NO LEORIO I DIDNT MEAN IT

PLS I LVOE YOU

**no❤️** _Today at 7:10 AM_

????

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:10 AM_

The stuff you got us, dude

**no❤️** _Today at 7:10 AM_

Oh, those

That stuff should have been at your houses about three weeks ago?

Hm. Well, doesn't matter

**doctoe** _Today at 7:11 AM_

did you just?? Think that we got it and didn't say anything about it?

**no❤️** _Today at 7:11 AM_

Yes?

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:11 AM_

THAT WOULD BE SO RUDE THO

did you think we didnt even say thank you :((

KURAPIKAAAA

were not that meannnn

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:11 AM_

wow

can't believe that's what you think of us

truly hurtful

**no❤️** _Today at 7:11_ _AM_

I just thought it wasn't that big of a deal

Although, all of this happened so I guess I was wrong

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:12 Am_

of course??

do you know how much frickin candy you got me??

i can live a whole week off of this

**no❤️** _Today at 7:12 AM_

I got you, like, a months worth??

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:12 AM_

i'm gonna eat it all this week

storing it all in my backpack and just gonna eat the hersheys every second

**doctoe** _Today at 7:13 AM_

please, don't

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:13 AM_

you got me a bunch of plant seeds!!

and the good kind soil too fhndsfhj

and littol cacti!!!!

waaaaaaaaa!!

i dont know how im gonna repay you :((

**no❤️** _Today at 7:13 AM_

You don't have to, Gon

It was a gift

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:14 AM_

don't eat the dirt

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:14 AM_

obviously not

its the good kind of soil i dont want plants growing in my tummy

and it was also a gift sooo

**doctoe** _Today at 7:14 AM_

and you got me?? so many de la rosa candies??

mazapan, pulparindo, all the good stuff

HOL UP HOLUP

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:14 AM_

:0??

**doctoe** _Today at 7:15 AM_

HUDSJDBHDB

YOU GOT THE CHOCOLATE MAZAPAN??

I HAVENT TRIED THAT ONE YET

THERES SO MANY,,

OK YEAH THATS IT NEXT TIME YOURE BACK IN THE AREA IM TAKIN YOU OUT TO EAT, NO REFUSAL

**no❤️** _Today at 7:15 AM_

Leorio

I already said, these are gifts

You don't have to

**doctoe** _Today at 7:16 AM_

but I am so

too bad so sad

**skate fast eat ass** _7:16 AM_

seriously though

thank you what the hell im so angry

this was?? so nice??

what are you planning im so scared

**no❤️** _Today at 7:16 AM_

Nothing, Killua, don't worry

I just thought I should, I guess

Especially since I'm gone so often and barely actually talk to you three

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:17 AM_

thank youuuuu

im goinna cry thats so sweet

kurapikaaaa 🥺

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:17 AM_

what the hell :pleading:

i can't handle this im gonna fhsdhjdsfgsh

**doctoe** _Today at 7:17 AM_

pikaaaaa

we care youuu, thank you so much

**no❤️** _Today at 7:19 AM_

Right, well

Gon, how have you been doing in school?

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:19 AM_

oh!!

Great! i've been doing pretty well

All my work's been caught up with, we're doing great

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:20 AM_

liar.

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:20 AM_

what??

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:20 AM_

look at that message compared to how you usually text on here

also

you took a good moment before answering

**doctoe** _Today at 7:20 AM_

you're very obvious when lying over text

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:21 AM_

ok yeha

i lied :(

im sorry

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:21 AM_

it's fine but like??

you literally have no reason to lie

it's completely fine if your grades are bad

just tell us n stuff

we're here to help you out with whatever

if you don't wanna tell leorio or kurapika, its fine, but you don't gotta lie to _me_ :/

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:21 AM_

i know im sorryyy

its just that your grades are always pretty good and so if mine start dropping i go :((

**no❤️** _Today at 7:21 AM_

So

On that note

What are your grades, Gon?

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:21 AM_

nfdsjkfnsdfbsjfbsk

**doctoe** _Today at 7:22 AM_

it's completely fine if they're bad

we're here to help you out

plus, they switched your classes a million times in the beginning of the year, obviously there's gonna be a struggle

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:22 AM_

yeah

well! in one class i have an A+!!

another i have an A

one i have a B-

and then my last two are a C- and a D,,

**doctoe** _Today at 7:23 AM_

they're not that bad

the fact that you have an A+ and an A just makesup for the other two

all you gotta do is try and focus on the lowest a bit more

**no❤️** _Today at 7:23 AM_

And not let that B- drop too low

**doctoe** _Today at 7:23 AM_

you don't gotta strive for perfect grades, gon

that's way too much stress

the least you can do is keep those A's up and get the others to B's

or at least get the lowest ones to C's

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:23 AM_

yeah okay

yeah that doesnt sound too bad

thank you guys!

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:24 AM_

parent tingz

**no❤️** _Today at 7:24 AM_

And do you need help with anything, Killua?

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:24 AM_

nope no nothing

go away

**doctoe** _Today at 7:24 AM_

some of my like

doctor friends i guess

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:24 AM_

doctoe friends

**doctoe** _Today at 7:25 AM_

they call me a dilf now

BAHHAHBSa doctoe friends

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:25 AM_

A DILF HRHDHBAJFNJFAF??

**no❤️** _Today at 7:25 AM_

HMDSKJN IJDSJ

EXPLAIN??

**doctoe** _Today at 7:25 AM_

OKOK SO

let me explain yeah

basically

i was gonna pick up Gon early for a dentist's appointment because i told Mito i'd take care of it

and so we were all studying n stuff and i went "oh i have to go early, guys, i gotta pick up gon for a dentist's appointment"

and they were like "is he your son??" and so i told them no and that he's just a friend, but they didn't believe me cus "you have a lot of picture of you guys with your other friends, he's so small and you care for him a lot also why would you be friends with a child"

like yeah that does seem kinda weird when i think about it but i told them he's not actually my son or anything "why is it so hard to believe? he's literally 16, i wouldve been 7 when he was born thats gross"

they also didn't believe that he was 16 so

but yeah i think they're trying to prove that he's my son and they said that i'm a dilf and one of them has me as that in their contacts

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:26 AM_

BAHASHABHDHUFHKSFHFHJR

HEKP

**no❤️** _Today at 7:26 AM_

AHHAHSAHSHAH

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:26 AM_

I CNAT DO THIS

**no❤️** _Today at 7:26 AM_

jeez

What makes it better is the fact that they REFUSE to believe you

**doctoe** _Today at 7:26 AM_

it really is the cherry on top, huh?

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:27 AM_

dilforio

also why dont they believe im 16 >:(

**doctoe** _Today at 7:27 AM_

AAAAHAHAHHA

**no❤️** _Today at 7:27 AM_

NOOO

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:27 AM_

DILFORIIDSIJFJI SJDKLS

ALSO

u r small

**doctoe** _Today at 7:27 AM_

gon, you've gotta stop coming up with such gorgeous name opportunities

i can only have one evry so often

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:27 AM_

i am NOT small

growing boy

also, im sorry that my brain is just so big and wrinkly, leorio!!

**no❤️** _Today at 7:27 AM_

We adore your gorgeous, wrinkly brain, Gon

**certified dirt eater** _today at 7:27 AM_

thank you!!

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:28 AM_

guy splease i cant

there are tears in my eues

my lungs HURT

**no❤️** _Today at 7:28 AM_

Then just breathe

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:38 AM_

SHUT UP

no longer thankful for the gifts

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 7:28 AM_

i decided on something

see

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:28 AM_

IM OGNNA SCREAM

AHBSBHAHSHA

**no❤️** _today at 7:28 AM_

I fucking hate it here

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 7:29 AM_

and yet you're still here and our friends, aren't you?

**no❤️** left the group

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 7:29 AM_

Oh

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:29 AM_

bye pa

**certified dirt eater** added **no❤️** to the group

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:29 AM_

no leaving >:(

**no❤️** _Today at 7:30 AM_

Okay, fine

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:34 AM_

OH

i almost lost my arm this weekend

would've been armless

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 7:34 AM_

WHAT?

**no❤️** _Today at 7:34 AM_

Wait what

What happened

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:34 AM  
_

oh my god gon

no

you literally didnt

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:34 AM_

YES I DID

I was making my bed on sunday cus i actually cleaned my room!!

and then i got my arm stuck

it was so stuck i almost broke it off

i called killua because aunt mito was at the store and i didnt know waht else to do

i was stuck forever

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 7:34 AM_

okay but what else happened after?

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:35 AM_

that's not what happened

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:35 AM_

yes it was, killua!! you were literlly on the phone with me!!

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:35 AM_

basically

gon _did_ get his arm stuck when making his bed and mito was out

he got it stuck in the bedframe

so he called me all panicked about being stuck and home alone

and then he started screaming about how the firefighters were going to have to cut off his arm or something or he'll be stuck forever

even though un that situation they would probably take apart the bedframe and not his arm??

and then as he was in the middle of crying and struggling, he popped right out and went

"oh. im not stukc anymore, killua! that's pretty cool. anyways-"

and then we called as he finished cleaning

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:36 AM_

you make my suffering sound so uneventful

it was a very scary experience

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 7:36 AM_

oh god

gon i was literally about to have a heart attack

**no❤️** _Today at 7:36 AM_

I was about to break something

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 7:36 AM_

luckily, our dearest gon's arm is still connected to his body

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:36 AM_

yeah, at least my arm didnt break off

i fell out of the second floor at school, obviously im gonna be fine

**no❤️** _Today at 7:36 AM_

You called Killua, though??

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 7:37 AM_

i was scared!

what if i was actually super stuck

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 7:37 AM_

that's fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want the chocolate mazapan so bad,, :|  
> Gon getting his arm stuck totally isn't based on me, that didn't happen to me on Sunday at all  
> Sorry for not posting chapters as much, school and stuff  
> Also, go follow my twitter if you want @.piumboys


	7. come backkkkk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua gotta suffer at school damn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one feels a lot shorter ughghgh sorry but like  
> This is all my brain could produce

**therapy but fun and free**

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 10:21 AM_

gon noooo

don't leave me please

i can see you leaving

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:21 AM_

im sorry killu :( !!

i wish we could pick you up, too

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 10:22 AM_

ugh yeah me too

now i'm gonna be so lonely during lunch, gon, other people are gonna try and TALK to me

and we have the last class period together, i'm gonna be so boredddd

how could you do this to meeee

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:22 AM_

just ignore them if you don't wanna talk to them

youve gotta interact with other people sometimes, though

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 10:22 AM_

i only do that if it's a class project or smthn

only if i really have to

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 10:22 AM_

what's going on, why're you guys talkin so much

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 10:22 AM_

because you picked up gon??

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 10:22 AM_

no???

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 10:22 AM_

what

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 10:23 AM_

you saw gon leave, wouldn't you have seen who was there

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 10:23 AM_

i wasn't paying attention to who it was

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 10:23 AM_

oh well obviously

of course you only payed attention to gon

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 10:23 AM_

shut theficuk uo iswear

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:23 AM_

guys dont worry!!

kurapika picked me up

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 10:23 AM_

WHAT?

PIKA??

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 10:24 AM_

WHEN DID HE GET HERE

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:24 AM_

i don't know

but even though kurapika said that aunt mito had already called ahead of time to confirm he'd be picking me up they still called her

she yelled at them a little bit hehe

**no❤️** _Today at 10:24 AM_

one of the secretaries was hitting on me

like sir if you're going to do that can you not do it while we're in front of my son

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:24 AM_

yeah ewie :|

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 10:25 AM_

oi kurapika pay attention to the road

i need gon to stay alive, tyvm

**no❤️** _Today at 10:25 AM_

of course

gon can play messenger while i'm driving

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:25 AM_

mhm !!

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 10:25 AM_

can't believe you didn't tell us you were coming

how long is he gonna be here, i still need to take him out to eat

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:26 AM_

he said 'it was supposed to be a surprise, obviously i only told mito'

and also 'he's actually going to bring me out to eat?'

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 10:26 AM_

i said i would, so obviously

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:26 AM_

he wants to know if we should go to pick you up

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 10:27 AM_

nah i'm alr at my car

i'll just meet you guys there

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:27 AM_

okie dokie

can't wait to get interviewd about my brainnn

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 10:27 AM_

i don't think they interview you about your brain specifically

but what would i know

* * *

**gon!** aka _certified dirt eater_

**killunya** _Today at 11:29 AM_

gon

gon

gon

gon

please im so frickin bored

i've only been at lunch for

what

over ten minutes??

i don't know i can't do math i'm gay

but like

some people have already tried talking to me

there's some people sitting over here and they're so boringgg

you're literally the only interesting person

come backkkkk

dogboy frogboy please i miss you already i hate it here

oh wait ew that's kinda like

too soft

anyways

am i bothering you?

i'm probably texting too much shit sorry

you're probably doing the interview and questioning things for adhd, huh?

that's kinda weird

that they have to interview you for stuff like that

how does that even work

hopefully they don't recommend meds or whatever

if they say you really need them then i'll pay for them

anyways x2

i'll stop now and try to talk to these people or whatever

sorry for spamming

**gon!** _Today at 11:47 PM_

aaa!!

killu im sorry i didnt answer

i was doing the interview and stuff and i was gonna answer after but then i forgot

**killunya** _Today at 11:48 PM_

hey, it's fine dw

how'd it go?

**hon!** _Today at 11:48 AM_

i dunno

theyre asking leorio questions now i think

they had already gave aunt mito and some of my teachers a questionare beforehand

**killunya** _Today at 11:48 AM_

oh wow so they have to ask multiple people?

**gon!** _Today at 11:48 AM_

mhm!!

they prolly woulda questioned you too if they could

i dont know if theyre questioning kurapika or not

**killunya** _Today at 11:48 AM_

well i mean, they've already questioned a lot of people as is

so they're probably all good

**gon!** _Today at 11:49 AM_

also make sure to get hw for me from the last class if they give any out

**killunya** _Today at 11:49 AM_

obviously

wanna call until lunch is over

i have like government or something next so

doesn't matter if the call lasts during that

**gon!** _Today at 11:49 AM_

are you sure??

**killunya** _Today at 11:49 AM_

yeah, it's cool

**gon!** _Today at 11:49 AM_

hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

ok!!

**killunya** _Today at 11:50 AM_

alright great

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> killugon been on the brain lately
> 
> Follow my twitteerrrrrr @.piumboys  
> Also, what if I made a discord server once I ran out of ideas? I still have a lot but,, just in case, y'know? Fun times. I have no idea how to run a server so i'd need help, but yeah!


	8. Minecraft Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short enderman isn't real,, short enderman can't hurt you

**therapy but fun and free**

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:06 AM_

minecraft steve,,

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:06 AM_

minecraft steve

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:06 AM_

minecraft steve.

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:06 AM_

minecraft steve

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 8:06 AM_

yep

minecraft steve

**no❤️** _Today at 8:07 AM_

What??

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 8:07 AM_

pika

**no❤️** _Today at 8:07 AM_

yes?

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 8:07 AM_

minecraft steve

is in smash

**no❤️** _Today at 8:07 AM_

What

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 8:07 AM_

i'll give you a moment

**no❤️** _Today at 8:07 AM_

Okay but why

he's not even a fucking

what

why is he in smash?

wait that's hilarious

Is it just minecraft steve or??

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:08 AM_

no

there's also alex

the zombie

**certified dirt eater** _Tpday at 8:08 AM_

AND SHORT ENDERMAN

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:08 AM_

YEAH

SHORT ENDERMAN

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 8:08 AM_

oh god yeah i'm scared of short enderman

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:08 AM_

he's my sleep paralysis demon

**no❤️** _Today at 8:08 AM_

Short enderman?

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:08 AM_

enderman but steve sized

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:09 AM_

*short_enderman.jpg*

**no❤️** _Today at 8:09 AM_

Fear

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:09 AM_

yeah

i am very scared of him

dont like him

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:09 AM_

what's funny is like

i was on twitter beforehand looking at waterparks' twitter and was wondering 'why the hell is minecraft steve trending?'

but i checked green day first cus yeah even though i knew it was gonna be the same 'wake me up when september ends' joke thing

and just as i was gonna look at minecraft steve, gon bursts into the classroom

and he tells me 'watch this video'

so i do and im just like 'oh okay smash i forgot that was today'

and then it shows minecraft steve :|

there were some other students that moved over to watch it

also we screamed a lot when short enderman was there because

short enderman.

scary.

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:10 AM_

i wasnt even in that class but i just really had to show killua

ran back to my normal class though

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:10 AM_

i mean, this is just homeroom so it doesn't matter n e ways

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 8:10 AM_

yeah im in the back of my class

one of my friends was sitting next to me and was like 'hey we should just watch it rq since it already happened'

and we tried very hard not to make any noise

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:11 AM_

i would also like to mention

that waterparks has given me trust issues and paranoia

i cannot do anything without thinking 'i gotta check twitter what if theyve done something theyre gonna do something while im not paying attention'

**no❤️** _Today at 8:11 AM_

At this point, i just rely on you for updates

If anything happens you'll come screaming to me or just here

Speaking of that, IDKHOW's album comes out this month fuck

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:11 AM_

oh god i'm so hype

leave me alone and razzmatazz were so good

i can't wait

**no❤️** _Today at 8:12 AM_

I honestly really enjoy the splash of politics and all of that that Dallon puts into the songs

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:12 AM_

i listened to lokwey as hell with killu when it was released

it was really good

we kinda just listened to it on repeat as he tweeted frantically

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:12 AM_

in my defense

i was really really excited

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 8:12 AM_

understandable

i've only really listened to idkhow's stuff

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:12 AM_

yeah like five days after each came out

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 8:13 AM_

well sorry i'm not as invested in music!

i literally just listen to the same few people

i also have lots of important things to do

**no❤️** _Today at 8:13 AM_

That's fair

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:13 AM_

i guess it's fine if your only music taste is jack stauber

his music is really good anywyas

**certified dirt eater** _Today 8:13 AM_

oh it really is

i like the sounds

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:13 AM_

neil cicierega also released mouth dreams

today i think?

**no❤️** _Today 8:13 AM_

It was one of his remix(?) albums, right?

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 8:14 AM_

mhm

haven't gotten to fully listen, but i'll listen while doing hw or something

**no❤️** _Today at 8:14 AM  
_

I'll listen to it in the car probably

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 8:14 AM_

talk to you guys later!!

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 8:14 AM_

see you later, gon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought i'd just get this one out rq, might do one mentioning how it is halloween month  
> What happened with killua and gon was literally me and my brother except it was in our house so  
> My twitter: @piumboys


	9. more band stuff oops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FANDOM birthday and more band things

**therapy but fun and free**

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:36 PM_

FANDOM birthday

she is one year old today

**no❤️** _Today at 12:37 PM_

Oh it's her birthday!!

Queen, we l*ve her

she's so gorgeous, an incredible album with an even sexier tour

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:37 PM_

exactly

queen shit

**no❤️** _Today at 12:37 PM_

barely been a year and they're already doing another album

jeez

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:37 PM_

also

awsten should go bald

**no❤️** _Today at 12:38 PM_

Killua no, please

He looks perfectly great right now

No baldsten

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:38 PM_

idk what you mean

baldsten would be great

anyways, probably gonna lisyen to FANDOM on repeat all day

**no❤️** _Today at 12:38 PM_

I'll do that, too, in a little bit

Been listening to 1 (A COLLECTION OF UNRELEASED HOME DEMOS, THIS IS NOT G, OR EVEN AN ALBUM, SHUT UP ENJOY)

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:38 PM_

oh my god 1 (A COLLECTION OF UNRELEASED HOME DEMOS, THIS IS NOT G, OR EVEN AN ALBUM, SHUT UP ENJOY) is so fkn sick the demos slap so hard

Lemonade is so sex

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 12:39 PM_

do you guys _have_ to say the full thing??

**no❤️** _Today at 12:39 PM_

Yes

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:39 PM_

yeah

**doctoe dilforio** _Today at 12:39 PM_

okay then

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:39 PM_

just kidding

it's just fun to see typed out entirely in a sentence tho

very funny

**no❤️** _Today at 12:39 PM_

top notch comedy

Killua and I are comedic geniuses

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:40 PM_

frfr

we're so funny

kurapika, whats your favorite song off of it

**no❤️** _Today at 12:40 PM_

Ah that's a hard one

Noise has a lot of what you hear on FANDOM how yknow

fandom stuff

and I just like loud songs, which also brings in the thought of Lemonade

it's so raw and I enjoy it a lot

I like Read My Mind a lot, so I think that may just be my favorite weirdly enough

I don't have too much reasoning for that one

Probably the guitar solo that is oddly similar to little violence

So, Read My Mind, then Noise, then Lemonade

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:41 PM_

ooh fair

lemonade is definitely my number one it's so wild and raw and i can just vibe so hard to it

glitter times is my second place, it's really good and just hdfjgndgndj yeah

**no❤️** _Today at 12:41 PM_

Makes you feel things?

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:41 PM_

shut up

my third place one is perfect posture

but yeah i cant really explain in detail why i like them i just

do

**no❤️** _Today at 12:42 PM_

Fair

Neither can I, really

Favorites off of FANDOM?

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:42 PM_

ooh okay so

number one favorite is watch what happens next

and then these other ones are a lot different from my previous picks

but

telephone, zone out and i felt younger when we met

**no❤️** _Today at 12:43 PM_

Huh, you're right, those are different than I expected, excluding wwhn

Mine would probably be War Crimes, High Definition and Cherry Red

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 12:43 PM_

oh oh!!

my favorites are war crimes, never bloom again and dream boy

also group chat is funky and fun i like it :)

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:43 PM_

Gon and i made this one playlist of just like random songs

and group chat is in there a few times and, of course, a bunch of lemon demon songs

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 12:43 PM_

two trucks haha

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12;44 PM_

oh, kurapika, how do we feel about the good news bad news from idkhow

**no❤️** _Today at 12:44 PM_

kinda upset that it won't come out soon, but it's alright because at least it's still coming out

New Invention is so good Dallon's voice?? immaculate

I like the music video a lot it's nice

I'm so excited for the rest of the album I swear

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:45 PM_

i cant wait for lights go down ughghghgh

idkhow = very sexy

**no❤️** _Today at 12:45 PM_

idkhow = sexy music

waterparks = virgin music

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 12:45 PM_

j

jerma,, penis music,,

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:45 PM_

BBAHSHBASBHAHS

JERMA OENIS MUSIC I FORGTO ABOUT THAT

**no❤️** _Today at 12:45 PM_

Well, then

On that note, I've gotta go

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:45 PM_

okok

have fun listening to the virgin music band

**no❤️** _Today at 12:45 PM_

I hope you enjoy listening to the virgin music, too

**skate fast eat ass** _Today at 12:46 PM_

Gon, let's call i hate it here i'm pretty sure illumi keeps passing by my door

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 12:46 PM_

okie dokes!!

i'll scream and scare him off >:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry that i'm just dumping random stuff in here, this is literally almost all waterparks, but that's hwo it's gonna go  
> also  
> jerma penis music <3  
> twitter: @piumboys (fun fact, my two urls on twt are waterparks urls. what a surprise. this one is inspired by plum island and gloom boys/noise)


	10. math = stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boy wants to drop out of school  
> local dropout tries to convince him not to

**therapy but fun and free**

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:17 AM_

get me out of here

i hate it

i don wanna be here

math is so stupid

i cant do it

im gonna break the desk

im gonna scream at the top of my lungs and jump out a window

i dont wanna do this stufffff

whats the point of it

its dumb

save meeee

**no❤️** _Today at 10:18 AM_

Gon, the other two are in class right now just like you

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:18 AM_

i know

but killua always answers me

leorio always tells me not to jump out of windows which is boring cus i dont wanna be in this class and its not like its the second floor this time

and then youre in town this week so i know youll be able to answer!!

**no❤️** _Today at 10:18 AM_

Killua is in p.e. at the moment

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:18 AM_

oh

right

ughghgh why does he get to have the fun class while im sufferinggg

**no❤️** _Today at 10:18 AM_

I'm sure he considers it suffering since you two don't have it together this year

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:18 AM_

oh last year was fun

but what about leorio why cant he message :(((

**no❤️** _Today at 10:18 AM_

He has to learn doctor things, doesn't he?

I'm sure it's rather important

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:18 AM_

ohh right

he has to do important docotr big brain things

so he can help people and maybe not be broke

killua also told me hes falling behind a little bit in two classes

he says its not my fault but it probably is

**no❤️** _Today at 10:19 AM_

He just enjoys talking to and hanging out with you, Gon

It doesn't really count as your fault

But you two should really at least try and focus on school a little more

Leorio's told me about how you've got one of your C's up?

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:19 AM_

yeah

i wanna drop out tho

**no❤️** _Today at 10:20 AM_

You can't even do that until next year

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:20 AM_

then ill do it next year

**no❤️** _Today at 10:20 AM_

How will Killua feel if you do that? He's rather adamant about how you're the only interesting and fun person at school

I know Leorio will try to convince you to do otherwise, but will ultimately let you if you really wish to

If it's really what you want, then I can't stop you either

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:20 AM_

killua would be pretty upset, yeah,,

but its not like id be moving away or something!!

wed still be able to see each other and i could probably even pick him up from school and stuff!!

**no❤️** _Today at 10:20 AM_

You can't drive

You haven't even read the driver's manual yet

Plus, wouldn't Killua be lonely _at_ school?

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:21 AM_

then ill read it now >:| !!

and alluka is transferring over soon!!

he'll be able to hang out with her

**no❤️** _Today at 10:21 AM_

Gon, sweetheart, listen to me.

If I know anything for sure, then I know that Killua will be upset if you drop out next year

On what scale, I'm not sure

If he'll be entirely open about how he feels about it, I'm not sure

You're smart, you're not stupid

Yes, we joke about it, you joke about it, but you know a lot about things that we don't

You just have to attempt to find a way to get better at certain things

I dropped out, look at how I ended up

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:21 AM_

you ended up cool :(

**no❤️** _Today at 10:21 AM_

and without a clue of what my future is going to be

Without a clue if I'm even going to have a future

There have been long periods of time where I don't even text you guys

I don't want you to end up doing anything similar to what I'm doing, Gon

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:21 AM_

but youre really smart

**no❤️** _Today at 10:21 AM_

I paid attention when I _was_ in school, but I didn't really do any work

I only bothered to continue learning after dropping out

I have my moments of stupidity, as well

I have to use a calculator most of the time, I fully agree that math is stupid

Again, you're smart, you're good

You can get through high school, who cares about going through college

If you ever want to try, then just go to a community college

Yes, the school system is absolute bullshit, but high school is sadly very important

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:22 AM_

oh

**no❤️** _Today at 10:22 AM_

Just

Think about it, Gon

Talk to Leorio about it and then talk to Killua

I care about you, okay?

I want you to live a good life

I'll pick you up from school Friday if that's fine?

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:23 AM_

yeah its fine

thank you, kurapika

ill _try_ to pay attention in class rn

**no❤️** _Today at 10:23 AM_

If you still have trouble, just ask and we'll go over homework with you later

**certified dirt eater** _Today at 10:23 AM_

okie dokes

i love you!!

**no❤️** _Today at 10:39 AM_

I love you, too, Gon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, they bond!! Might make the next chapter written out with Kurapika picking up Gon  
> Do you feel good or bad vibes about what's coming next?  
> Twitter: @piumboys


End file.
